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suburbia

by sandy hsu

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1.
Dog Park 05:16
people who ride the same wave will end up together you and i are two signs that fit because we differ all the kids are crying we feel so alone all the kids are trying to go back home we’re all hanging out at the dog park safest place to be when it gets dark you’re throwing pebbles at my window at 3am driving down the highway holding my hand neon night times at the diner and poems written on napkins we can talk about your feelings under the full moon everything is strange and moving too soon you don’t have to be scared of the boys at train station you and i are two sides of the same coin and imagination all the kids are crying we feel so alone all the kids are trying to go back home we’re all hanging out at the dog park safest place to be when it gets dark you’re throwing pebbles at my window at 3am driving down the highway holding my hand neon night times at the diner and poems written on napkins we can talk about your feelings under the full moon everything is strange and moving too soon we can slow down and breathe in the cold air 7am take our dogs for a walk yeah it’s only has hard as we make it out to be our lungs inflate with fears anxieties about existence but look at our dogs, they're sniffing their shit and they seem perfectly content all the kids are crying we feel so alone all the kids are trying to go back home we’re all hanging out at the dog park safest place to be when it gets dark you’re throwing pebbles at my window at 3am driving down the highway holding my hand neon night times at the diner and poems written on napkins we can talk about your feelings under the full moon everything is strange and moving too soon
2.
all your friends are idiots and you know it you tell me on the train how they’re all hopeless and i don't know how to react so i just sit they all have private school educations but honestly it doesn't make a difference save yourself a few grand each year trust your children to make the right decisions i guess i am pretentious because i’ve never gone out and got wasted never woke up in a bathtub in a suburb i don't know i guess i am pretentious but i don't feel the urge to go out and break shit always find myself scared and home alone all you friends think they’re so much better when their self worth depends on figures I don't think you need to worry about that at all they all go down to watch the boys play soccer and your best friend hides dope in her locker you told me she traded dignity for vodka even though you begged her not to i guess i am pretentious because i’ve never gone out and got wasted never woke up in a bathtub in a suburb i don't know i guess i am pretentious but i don't feel the urge to go out and break shit always find myself scared and home alone too educated to get shit faced my ego is too big to displace this pre-dispositioned version of me sometimes i do fear that i am missing but how much of youth is about regretting? maybe it’s better if i stay home pretending i'm listening to the smiths and quoting sylvia plath i guess i am pretentious because i’ve never gone out and got wasted never woke up in a bathtub in a suburb i don't know i guess i am pretentious but i don't feel the urge to go out and break shit always find myself scared and home alone
3.
Who Are You? 04:15
the bitter taste of coffee lingers in your mouth but something about it feels different and you can’t figure it out it’s something in the weather the cold rains in december leaving shiny pavements and desolate roads who are you when i look on the mirror i see someone i once knew but i think have lost her will i change my mind and be better this time will i try? the stale taste of tobacco lingers in your mouth you sit at home on your bedroom floor doing stick n pokes and you’re not happy till you’ve filled your soul with art and smoke your father worries about you your mother hates your guts and you are crying salted tears into self inflicted cuts who are you when i look on the mirror i see someone i once knew but i think have lost her will i change my mind and be better this time will i try? seventeen years of salted wounds cough syrup by table spoons second hand love and second hand shoes taking up too much room wash away all the bad days in hot showers and torrential rains cover up all of your mistakes its better if it stays this way who are you when i look on the mirror i see someone i once knew but i think have lost her will i change my mind and be better this time will i try? who am i?
4.
the days all begin to blur together somebody throw me a pity party i am content with being alone forever it’s okay if nobody wants me i sit on my bedroom floor i don't even know what i’m waiting for i am forced to make a choice when i cant even raise my voice i want to be young i want to be forever i want to be safe i want to be young i want to be forever i want to be okay everybody just wants to use you in the real world i don't think i am ready for the real world this kind of place only creates mundane overachievers i only cried twice in public this week and i think that’s an achievement i missed my train and i got home late i don't want to think about my future got caught in the rain i have a headache i don't want to think about my future i i want to be young i want to be forever i want to be safe i want to be young i want to be forever i want to be okay everybody just wants to use you in the real world i don't think i am ready for the real world we all know mums are so fake when people come over building up trophy children to show off to each other i don’t want to be someone i hated when i was younger the world is pretty grey and we all want to live in colour there has to be something more than this feeble existence i know i am nothing on the scale of this universe i want to be young i want to be forever i want to be safe i want to be young i want to be forever i want to be okay everybody just wants to use you in the real world i don't think i am ready for the real world i want to be young i want to be forever i want to be safe i want to be young i want to be forever i want to be okay i want to be young i want to be forever i want to make a change

about

last year as a part of my year 12 visual art final i wrote this EP called 'suburbia'. it was created to work cohesively with a life size teenage bedroom installation i made that was also part of the final. however, detached the music can still exist as a body of work on its own.

the idea behind the EP was that it engaged and enveloped the viewer in a fully immersive sonic & visual environment. the content explores my relationship with youth culture within the suburbs. it was a last minute addition to the art final, when i recorded it i was bent over sick & tired of VCE and real life lol
it's anti-perfect, almost intrusive to listen to. these were shitty one shot bedroom recordings of songs that weren't meant to make it outside the walls of my final year 12 art installation.

'suburbia' was exhibited at the Ian Potter Centre (NGV) as a part of TopArts 2016 from March 11 – July.

credits

released March 11, 2016

teen angst & existentialism // self-loathing

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about

sandy hsu Melbourne, Australia

hyper-sensitive word vomit

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